


Waiting

by genericpseudonyms



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen, Loneliness, One Shot, Pre-TFA, Reylo if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 14:09:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13366350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericpseudonyms/pseuds/genericpseudonyms
Summary: In the Goazon Badlands, you could wait years for a good day. Thankfully, Rey knows all about waiting. Pre-TFA, mild Reylo if you squint.





	Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich. And just cuz Rey's loneliness speaks to me on visceral levels. Typos my own.

There wasn’t much to love about Jakku, but Rey made an exception for sunrises over the Goazon Badlands. The ink of the night sky would erupt into a violent swirl of purples, crimsons, and gold. It was different from the blandness of pale sands and harsh, cloudless blue skies. Plus, it was the only time of day where you could say the air felt pleasant. The chill of the desert night hadn’t completely faded, but the punishing heat of day had yet to settle in.

The smart scavenger left her bolthole when the sky was still black. Out before dawn, back before long. Leave midday, stranded you’ll stay. That was the rhyme Old Riza had taught her, back when she was still crying for her mother. Speeders, particularly top-heavy red ones built from scavenged parts, had a nasty tendency to overheat and a stranded scavenger was a dead scavenger. 

Rey knew this, but even so, most mornings were a struggle. The AT-AT where she’d made her home blocked most of the wind, but it wasn’t by any means warm. She’d spent many a night, particularly during the dry months, shivering in her hammock under a pile of old rags. Rey counted herself lucky if she got more than a few hours of dreamless sleep at a time. But the fact was, more often than not she had to drag herself onto the speeder and ignore the painful rumbling of her stomach.

But not today. Last night, she’d gotten a whole uninterrupted night of sleep. For once, she hadn’t dreamt of that craggy island surrounded by a dark ocean. Or at least she was fairly certain it was an ocean. She’d never seen one outside of the occasional holovid, so she couldn’t be entirely sure. 

Instead, she’d dreamt of calming fingers stroking her hair and a soft, sad voice telling her she was safe. A memory of her father perhaps? It must have been. Rey didn’t know any other man who might speak to her so gently. Unkar Plutt was always bellowing insults and the other scavengers knew to give her wide berth after she’d knocked out four of skeevy Jezah’s teeth out. 

In any case, she hadn’t wanted to wake up. Good dreams were rare and she’d tried to stay for as long as she could. But all dreams had to end and this was as good a start to a long day as any.

Rey dressed with ruthless efficiency, tucking away her dream into a secret corner of her mind for later. She’d learned the hard way that it didn’t help to let her mind wander. The key to surviving was to retreat inside herself and focus only on the task at hand. 

She’d packed her rucksack the night before—another thing smart scavengers did, because you never knew when you had to just go. Before the AT-AT, she’d lived on the outskirts of a scavenger shantytown. It’d been fine in her shabby little lean-to, until the sandstorm hit. Old Riza had thrown her and the other children into the cargo hold of a rickety quadjumper. When she’d woken up the next day…

Rey shook her head. This was the problem with thinking. Bad memories were always just around the corner.

Shouldering her rucksack, Rey crawled out into the still-dark morning and hopped onto her speeder. The ride to the Graveyard of Ships wasn’t long, considering she lived just along the border. But today she was heading to the opposite end. She’d heard rumors yesterday that Plutt was looking for usable motherboards, and the closer ships had been picked clean decades ago. Unless she wanted to waste hours of her day scaling up the Ravager, she’d have an easier time with smaller ships further out.

It was a fool’s errand, she knew. A workable motherboard that hadn’t been irreversibly eroded by sand over 30 years? Unlikely. But the portions if she succeeded would be worth the while. Besides, she never gave Unkar Plutt everything she’d scavenged anyway. A reserve for lean times kept her mostly fed and healthy most days. And she’d be fine in the long run. 

She always was.

—

By the time the sun rose, Rey already had a pack full of transistors, compressors, and other bits and bobs. If Unkar was feeling generous, she had at least a half portion—a quarter if he was feeling less so. Plus, her canteen was still three-quarters full, and there was still a good four hours until noon. 

She’d quickly scavenged three small craft, and then traveled a few klicks west to the nameless light cruiser the locals referred to as the Death Trap. The location wasn’t secret by any means, but life in the Badlands was a constant calculation of risk versus reward. The Death Trap was fragile, a two hour ride from Niima Outpost, and precariously perched over a ravine—only the smallest scavengers dared squeeze through its hull and only on days where there was unlikely to be a sandstorm.

Rey supposed she ought to care more. If she got seriously injured before her family could find her, then where would she be? Like Ramanda, or old Riza before she died? Skin wrinkled and fingers gnarled, scrubbing at parts for the rest of her life? She shook her head. There she was, thinking again.

Luckily, the cruiser had crashed upright into its sandy grave. No need for rappelling, which required intense focus and stamina lest an unwise foothold meant she went hurtling to her death. Rey covered her mouth as she made her way through the halls. It had to have been months since anyone stepped food in the Death Trap and the air was stale with dust.

In reality, Rey was thankful that most of her days were so blissfully mindless. The smart scavenger was always moving, always solving problems. And when the days blurred together, each the exact same as the one before, it helped to not think of the future. The endless days with no one to talk to and nights spent alone, dreaming of the moment her parents would come back for her. It would be soon. It had to be. She’d waited fifteen years. It couldn’t be much longer. 

Stop. She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth. In and out, in and out, until she remembered what she was here for. Hope was dangerous, and she’d tread these mental circles thousands of times. Today, her mind was just being particularly stubborn. Perhaps because of that dream. 

Before she knew it, her feet had taken her to the control room. How she’d known where to find it, Rey didn’t question. It had always been like that. If she wanted something, eventually she’d find it. Old Riza had commented on that once. For such a pitiful creature, you are unnaturally lucky. Beware you don’t rely on it.

Unlike the rest of Old Riza’s lessons, she’d never really taken the last bit to heart. Rey grinned as she pried off a wall panel to find at least three intact motherboards with minimal damage. How could she, when her instincts always paid dividends?

A part of her wanted to laugh. To jump and dance at her good fortune. To turn to a friend, jab them in the ribs, and say, see, I told you so. Rey’s smile faltered, before she shook her head and reached for her tool belt. If Unkar Plutt was generous, these were at least worth three whole portions each. She had three to start, which meant a whopping nine portions if she was lucky. 

It’d be stupid to feel lonely when she’d just hit the jackpot.

—

It had been worth the look of surprise on Plutt’s face when she dropped the three motherboards at his window. Normally, when demand was high she would’ve kept one for herself. But it wasn’t as if motherboards were necessarily hard to come by; Plutt was just fighting with his normal supplier and desperately short for the time being. 

He hadn’t asked where she’d found it. He knew better than that. But he’d wordlessly handed over 15 portions and Rey had done her best not to let her eyes bulge in shock. She’d shoveled them straight into her bag and booked it out of there on her speeder, lest some hungry junker catch wind of her haul and tried to steal it. 

As it was, her day had ended a bit earlier than usual. Which meant she could spend some time building a new project or watching an old holovid. But today, she opted to simply rehydrate her portion and when she was done eating, she marked the day on the wall, repacked her supplies and slipped into her hammock.

Curling on her side, she closed her eyes and willed herself to remember. In her dream, his lap had been warm, yet his fingers had felt cool as they pulled her hair from their knots. She felt her muscles relax, and just this once, Rey indulged the urge to nuzzle closer.

Was this what it felt like to have someone? Rey felt the sting of hot tears. She knew she was clutching at a rough-spun pillow and rags, and not an actual human. That there wasn’t a single person on this godforsaken planet who she could ask to hold her. That her parents were far, far away and for now, she was totally and utterly alone.

Shh. 

The fingers in her hair paused. Rey whimpered in protest, until she felt the featherlight brush of lips against her temple.

Sleep. You’re safe. 

—

Rey woke again in the middle of the night, bleary-eyed and shivering. At some point, she’d kicked off her blankets. Reaching over, she picked them off the ground and wrapped them around her.

The dream had ended, she was wide awake and there were still hours until sunrise. The ache in her chest was still there, though duller now. She’d never had a dream like that before, let alone twice in twenty-four hours. It had to mean something. Things would change. Soon. 

She would just have to keep her eyes open and wait.


End file.
